What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. But it does not mean that we should not work towards that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first our children second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a great parenting experience, including how you can steer clear of bad parenting, and be a better parent.
They are not all that easy or quick.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them all the time.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be in a position to move forward using the tips in this parenting guide.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, be the person you want your child to be - respect your child, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show the love of yours.
There's simply no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love may - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love the child of yours can be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the kid, will develop resilience and also never to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what is right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm whenever you set rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a positive manner, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR The CHILD of yours
Tey letting your child know that you will remain there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are constantly responsive have much better emotional regulation development, social skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child as well as your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might wish to change some elements of the way they had been brought up.
But very often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of just how you would do it differently in a genuine scenario. Attempt to be mindful and change your behavior next time those issues come up.
Do not give up in case you do not succeed at first. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief also.
Pay attention to your own well being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or maybe the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking can result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're much more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they are also far more apt to result in delinquency and oppositional behavior, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective options to discipline that have been proven to be much more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a kid?
If you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in college, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel frustrated or angry, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a child and information which are supported by science, here is one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you could choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you are able to also choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and https://parentinghowto.com/ may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is hard, it's also very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we'll eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!